How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
