I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize