Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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