a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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