eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
