he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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