hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
