in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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