i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
