My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize