there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
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He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's official drugs can't kill me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.