hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize