Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
