I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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