Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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