I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
