She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
