nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You're like the curious george of whores
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
