We won't sleep together?
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
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i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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