we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
