It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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