I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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