there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
