Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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