at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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