please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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