I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
