His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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