about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
