last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
