What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
