was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
This toilet bowl is my home.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
