too bad you live with your parents still
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
