just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
40s are totally the cure
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
