dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
