Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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