We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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