Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
