Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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