dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
