so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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