I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
