So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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