Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
