Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
