I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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