I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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