I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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