Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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