who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
