i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
