Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ketchup is God's man juice
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
