u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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