phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Let's get the cat blown out
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
