I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
