i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
