I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
