If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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