I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
